Day 71 - 12/2/16 - Day Off - Chula Vista, CA

Rafa flew into San Diego at 10:00pm tonight but, hours and hours before that she texted me from Vermont with another big list of possible things to do to fill my day with places to ride to and places to eat –she’s a great long-distance tour guide.  I rode to the Olympic training center, sat by the lake, looked at the mountains, orange and rusty in color, did some writing (Rafa says she usually reads here) and then rode back.  I listened to some Christmas music while I ate lunch.  Connie came in the kitchen and was humming and singing under her breath while she did motherly things like put stuff away and wipe down counters and push chairs in.  Their home is decorated like the North Pole and I love it.  Later on, David and Dani and I drove into the city for some epic donuts at Donut Bar.  Large, colorful, sugary circles seemed to glow under the soft warm lights overhead.  

There’s a lot of love for donuts in this place.  The 3 of us went to the mall afterwards, David wanted to upgrade his wardrobe.  I normally avoid malls like the plague this time of year but, I never mind going along for the ride.  We all had fun; Dani and I made all the decisions for David in terms of color and pattern.  I haven’t bought any new clothes (except for what I’ve been wearing on this trip) in quite a while.  I like second-hand stores but, I admit, I was a bit enticed by all the nice sweaters and jackets.  I’m not going to know how to dress myself when I get home.  I’ve got about 4 shirts and a few pairs of pants/shorts that all have a specific purpose.  I’m going to need help remembering to wear something different every day, even underwear.  

We didn’t have much time to relax between getting home from the mall and going back out to pick up Rafaela, just enough time to eat another donut.  There she was, sitting out in the California cold, still bundled up from Vermont, looking like all the photos I’d seen of her but still somehow different.  Images of people and things make us think we’ve actually seen something or met someone but us humans are easily swindled by our own ideas of something.  So far, my mental image and the real Rafa are in sync; I always thought she was a kind and beautiful girl and the short time spent in the car on the way back to Chula Vista confirmed my vision of her.  It was close to 11:00pm when we got back, it felt like 2:00am to Rafa so we all went to bed to rest for tomorrow’s party.

Day 59 - 11/20/16 - Kirk Creek SP to San Simeon SP, CA

I haven’t had any cell service to check the weather since Monterey but, at that point, it showed rain for Sunday.  Sometimes, forecasts will do a 180 but, this time it was correct.  It started raining last night in Kirk Creek, my tent was less than 100 feet from the Pacific.  I’ve had some leakage issues in the near past but, last night showed me my tent is on its last legs.  Water came in from the 2 corners that my head sits between.  A lot of the sealer around the seams is starting to peel off.  Underneath my sleeping pad, where all the past holes have been patched up, water somehow snuck in and soaked the underside.  

I’m not totally sure what I’ll do yet, the next week is projected to be sunny but, weather can always surprise you.  Despite waking up in the rain and thinking for a second I might not ride today, I sucked it up and started pedaling and actually had a groovy day.  Not far into the ride I stumbled on the small town of Gorda; one of those towns where the store, the restaurant, the post office, and town hall are all on the same patch of asphalt.  But, what a beautiful oasis Gorda is, looking out onto the ocean through a gap in the trees.  It’s always a good idea to stop for a cup of coffee to warm up when it’s raining out, always.  Inside the restaurant someone has put on some soft jazz, exactly what I would put on on such a gray day.  

I sat alone and had a couple cups with a piece of mango raspberry cheesecake; I’ve never heard of such a thing.  It was the perfect snack to help me up over the hill that leads you away from Gorda.  I’m guessing I cycled uphill for about 5 miles then rode down for about 2, then back up for another couple.  The rain and clouds and mist prevented me from seeing out into the open sea but, the elements made for an interesting ride, like thin what curtains were closing behind me, hiding the landscape, simultaneously opening up before me, showing the saturated colors on the hills close by and the muted tones of blue water below.  The endless hills seem to be behind me; the road leveled out as I got closer to San Simeon.  I passed beaches covered by the massive bodies of Elephant seals.  

Some lay sleeping while others wrestled and some even danced face to face in a mating ritual.  But I sped on by, cold and wet, thinking about food and the prospect of a warm shower at the campground –no such luck.  I haven’t showered in a week but, getting completely soaked today made me feel a little cleaner, I guess.  It’s too early to sleep, too early for dinner, too wet outside and here in my tent aint much better.  I’m trying to stay on the dry part of my sleeping pad, dampness is all over the walls and I’m surrounded by dripping panniers and a bag full of wet clothes.  It’s all part of the fun.  What a blessing it is to truly appreciate dry clothes and shelter.

Day 1 - 6/8/16 Stoneham to Harvard, MA

It feels good to feel good at the end of the first day of travel.  Unlike when I tried to walk and my legs wanted to break off at the knees.  I rode my bike 38 miles to get where I am now: sitting next to some beautiful lake in Harvard.  I'm glad the rain only lasted a half hour or so.  Now it is an unbelievable evening– not too cool, a little windy, beautiful clouds turning purple as the sun has dipped below the treeline.

I've had a few visitors at my 'campsite': a mother and daughter scouting for the right town to live in; an Indian man and who I can guess were his parents; another man with a fishing rod; two women looking for a path that goes all the way around the lake (and did not find one); a small dog that came out of the woods who would not come any closer for me to read his tags; two teenage boys with their fishing rods and tackle box; and a teenage boy and girl who appear to be sitting and watching the sunset next to the boats at the dock. And here I am, waiting for night to come so I can set up my tent and go to sleep.  I hope no one comes by to bother me tonight. 

 

Why can't it be legal to sleep where you please as long as you leave no trace?  Maybe Massachusetts is the problem, maybe other places are laid back and care free and allow folks to spend the night outside next to a lake.  Maybe there isn't a problem and I just think this isn't ok.  I guess I'll have to see on this trip.  I'm already looking forward to day 2.

February 3rd

          It's all too familiar, sinking into the couch after the daily routine of riding around in big circles for a few hours, the euphoric feeling caused by the release of endorphins in the ol' brain, looking at the calendar, seeing my departure date getting closer and closer (again).  Being trapped in a fish bowl comes to mind but, I don't need to go into any more detail about that.  Boy, when I moved back home in January I did not intend on staying this long but, I can now confirm that I cannot predict the future, there's no point in trying.  However, the pattern is just as visible as it was a couple months ago when I first tried to embark on my journey on foot.  Life has begun to feel like Groundhog Day over here and I'm Phil Connors.

          Oddly enough, I saw this movie for the first time very recently.  I actually put it on while I packed my bag the night before I left for Rockport back at the beginning of April.  It was a strange time to first see this flick because an unexpected six inches of snow fell the previous day, pushing my departure date back a little further just like the movie.  There's a quote from Phil that really struck me when I heard it: "What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same and nothing you did mattered?"  That just about sums up the feeling of day-to-day monotony I know many people have experienced.  I've been there, I feel like I'm here now but, that's mostly because I've been unemployed (retired, as I prefer to say) for over three months now.  Maybe if I didn't have 'travel across the country' at the top of my agenda I could focus on something else besides myself and things might feel a little different day after day.

          I'd be lying if I said it doesn't feel good to have no responsibilities.  I'm like a kid on the edge of summer vacation looking out on the seemingly endless reservoir of time in front of me; except, I'm 26 years old, I should be doing something more productive, shouldn't I? I feel like a bum some days but, I guess I could be even lazier and self-centered than I am.  And couldn't we all be doing a little more than what we're doing now? I'm not condemning anyone for not operating at 110% efficiency, I'm certianly not saving the planet over here.  Maybe we should all just be responsible for our own little slice of the world and make it the best it can be, much like Phil at the end of Groundhog Day, fixing flat tires, saving choking restaurant patrons, and catching that kid that falls out of the tree day after day without ever hearing a thank you.  Before he took the wellbeing of Punxsutawney into his own hands, Phil was spending his day(s?) stealing, overeating, drinking and killing himself over and over.  When people feel like they're stuck, like their lives make no difference (which is never true!), the tendency to pick up self-destructive habits is all too easy.

          After a more recent viewing of the film, a Ram Das quote came to mind as Phil makes his transformation from suicidal maniac to upstanding citizen.  "I can do nothing for you but work on myself and you can do nothing for me just work on yourself."  Isn't that great?  It may seem kind of self-centered to focus on your own situation but, self-improvement has a positive effect on how you interact with the world.  To hate yourself is to hate the world but to love yourself opens your heart to it.

          I'm really excited to leave for my trip (again) but it hasn't been totally agonizing being at home longer than planned.  I've been taught some valuable lessons while I've been feeling stuck.  Perhaps the most important being that nothing in life is guaranteed.  We can try as hard as we might to shape the future but life is just a series of events we need to react to, not attempt to control.  The other lesson is patience; how often we let that virtue slip our minds when we're stuck behind someone actually going the speed limit or when you're trying to get a four year old to eat her damn dinner.  Whatever you push always pushes back.  Ram Das and his adopted mantra come to mind again: "Be here now."  Be active in the present, don't worry about what has happened, what hasn't happened yet, or what you hope to happen.

          Phil Connors already knew everything that could and would happen on February 2nd, maybe he was left with no other choice than to be here now.  Or maybe he figured he killed himself so many times, woke up to Sonny and Cher's, 'I Got You Babe' day after day that he should focus his energy on the needs of others instead of his own misery.  Is this the key?  Should we all try to catch that falling kid from the tree even though we get no thanks again and again?  Try to be a little less selfish?  I guess it doesn't matter what kind of situation you're in or how you got there, it's what you do with your time and what you learn from it.